


For a moment, my mind was flying

by xisuthros



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:26:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xisuthros/pseuds/xisuthros
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity encounters Oliver's nightmares for the first time after a long day. The first section is set near the beginning of season 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For a moment, my mind was flying

Getting off the phone with Dig, Felicity punched in the code to the Foundry. It had been a long day; Oliver, Diggle, and Roy had managed to take down one of the smaller mafia families in Starling City without letting Felicity know. To say she was furious was an understatement. What would have happened if one of them got hurt, she had practically yelled to Dig on the phone. Muttering in the background clued her into Oliver being in the room with his bodyguard, which sent her on another lecture about how their vigilante-ing was supposed to be a team effort. Felicity smiled to herself as she stepped into the Foundry door, remembering their exasperated sighs during her worried rants. 

Diggle had mentioned that Oliver stayed behind after he and Roy had already left, so she wasn’t surprised to see his muscular frame sitting at one of the tables. His shirt was off, giving her a good view of his back that was littered with the scars and tattoos of his five year journey. She paused at the foot of the stairs for a moment and examined him. Though she never admitted it, Felicity had always wanted to know the secret behind each one of his scars. Every time she tried to ask him, he avoided the question and changed the subject. She understood; it was tough for him to talk about, but she hoped that one day he would trust her enough share some of them with her.

As Felicity made her way across the Foundry, she found it odd that Oliver hadn’t noticed her yet. Usually the man was a walking people detector, always aware of what was going on around him. Taking him to the mall had been like watching someone use a metal-detector in a steel factory. 

When she stepped closer, Felicity had to clamp her hand on her mouth to keep from gasping. Oliver was sitting on the table, his brow sweating in pain and concentration as he attempted to stitch up what looked like razor wire wounds on his stomach. There were at least three gaping gashes on his abdomen that she knew immediately would be added to his already impressive collection of scars. Blood caked his hands and stomach as he pulled the hooked needle in and out of his skin, his jaw determinedly. 

Felicity quicklyput down her bag, finally causing Oliver to suddenly realize her presence. He hastily tried to cover up his wound as she rushed over and frantically tried to get him to let her see it.

“Oh my god, Oliver!” She exclaimed, ignoring the thoughts that always seemed to come into her head whenever she touched his bare skin. “What happened? John said you guys were fine when you got back!” Oliver looked sheepish.

“I may have gone out again since he left.” He admitted, causing her to abandon her attempts to see his wound and look at him fiercely. 

“You what?!” she practically yelled, causing Oliver to look like a child being told off by his mother. “What were you thinking?” She went on. “You could have gotten yourself killed!” He suddenly sat up straighter and attempted to look at her steadily. 

“You know, I did manage do survive this life for six years without you guys. I can manage this, just so you’re aware.” Felicity wasn’t buying it.

“Yeah, and I’m sure that worked out great for you!” She gestured to his scars, causing him to roll his eyes. “Why, oh why, do you always try to scare me half to death like this?” She looked at him imploringly, genuinely wanting an answer this time.

It seemed Oliver wasn’t prepared to give her a straight response. “I don’t know.” he answered, then held up a finger. “If you could hold off on the extended version of this lecture for just a minute, I’m almost done.” His attempt at being funny was not going to appease her that easily. 

“Oh no you don't, give me that.” Felicity snatched the hooked needle from his hands, fully aware that he could have stopped her if he really wanted to. Oliver sighed and removed his arm, revealing the full extent of his injuries.

If Felicity had not already been experienced with Oliver’s various wounds by this point, she would have thrown up. The razor wire had gone much deeper than she had previously thought, causing blood to ooze out of the wound like sap from a tree. Bruises littered the rest of his chest while she could faintly see another small cut to his lower right hip. As he viewed her reaction, she noticed a gash on his brow and another small scrape to his left jaw. It looked like the man had gone through the garbage disposal. 

Pity welled up in Felicity’s stomach for a moment. He had been pushing himself hard since Sara’s death, determined to catch her killer while being driven on by Laurel, who was set on getting revenge. Felicity knew she didn’t mean to press him so hard, but Oliver always blamed himself for everything even if it wasn't his fault. He was driving himself into the ground trying to figure out her murder, and it was slowly killing him. 

Still thinking and worrying, Felicity ignored what Oliver’s close proximity was doing to her body and worked on getting the last of the gashes sewn up. It was not easy, but by the end of it she stepped back and admired her handiwork. Someone could easily tell where Oliver had stopped sewing and where she had begun; her stitches were neat while his were uneven due to the pain of having to do it yourself.

Felicity placed a hand on his shoulder, willing her heart to stop leaping every time she did something like that. “All done.” She said with a small smile. 

He smiled gratefully at her and moved to get up but immediately sat back down once he tried to put weight on right leg. Felicity, against Oliver’s protests, pulled up his pant leg and saw his knee had been dislocated. Amazed he had even managed to make it back to the Foundry, she glared at him and popped it back into place firmly, taking a little joy in the way he gasped in pain. Maybe that would teach him to make her worry like that. She sighed. As if.

Moving over to the medicine cabinet and the nearby closet near the stairs, Felicity got out a leg brace and an old cane. Oliver looked at her strangely when she thrust the cane into his hand while she put on the brace. 

“There.” She said, finished. “Now try.” Oliver raised an eyebrow at the cane, but nevertheless cautiously put weight on his right leg. Felicity smiled when he used the cane after his knee almost gave out again. 

She must have started laughing because he looked at her. “What’s so funny?” he asked, clearly not amused. 

Felicity shook her head, still grinning. “You kinda look like Dr. House now. You know, brooding, scruff, cane...” Oliver looked at her, confused.

“Who’s Dr. House?” he asked. Felicity gaped at him.

“You’ve never heard of Dr. House? Come on, he was on before the island!” He shrugged apologetically.

She put a hand on her forehead exasperatedly. “Never mind. Let me get you some ‘aspirins’” She used air quotation marks. “For the pain, which should be hitting you anytime now.” He looked slightly offended at the her notion that he needed painkillers.

“Felicity, I’m fine. I’ve handled far worse than this.” He reasoned. She was having none of it. 

“Nope!” She said, getting out the bottle of oxycontin. “You’re back in civilization now, buddy. You get good ol’ drugs.” Felicity smiled sweetly at him when he rolled his eyes and took the pills reluctantly. 

Once he had washed them down with some water, Felicity clapped her hands. “Alright! Time to get you to bed.” Her ears started burning when Oliver looked sharply at her. “Not like that!” she said quickly. “I meant like, put you in the bed. Like in that bed. Over there” she gestured frantically. “Without me.” Like the big adorable jerk he was, Oliver smiled at her flustered expression but didn’t say a word. 

Felicity helped him limp over to the bed, subconsciously wondering why the man had to have his shirt off all the time. Seriously, it was going to give her cardiac arrest. Once he was situated on the mattress, she threw him one of his spare shirts and promptly ignored the amused look he gave her. 

Telling him to go to sleep, Felicity went to her chair to turn on the computers and was amazed to look back and see him already asleep within a few minutes. He must have been really exhausted. She rarely got to see Oliver sleeping, usually only when she first got down to the Foundry early in the morning or late at night, but never for long.  
He would always wake up within a few seconds of her walking over with a knife in his hand and a wild look to his eyes. Dig had mentioned to her when she first joined the team that waking him up was probably never a good idea. Felicity smiled when she recalled Dig’s story of being flipped over with one hand once while trying to wake Oliver for breakfast.

Now when she looked at his face, he looked so peaceful. Gone were all the masks and false faces he wore throughout the day, all the walls he seemed to build up around himself. His mouth slightly open and breathing steadily, Oliver looked nothing like the Arrow but rather like a very tired man who took on much more than he should everyday. Felicity had to smile at how cute he looked, lying there with one had under the pillow and he other near his ear. Quickly taking out her phone, she snapped a quick picture of him for teasing later. 

Turning back to her work, she started typing and gathering intel on some of the other crime lords and criminals in the area that they still needed to work on. After that, she dug up all they knew about Sara’s murderer and tried to extrapolate some details about him from the murder information. Taking off her glasses, Felicity rubbed her temples when she realized she had spent two hours on this already. This wasn't going to be solved tonight. 

She had just place her hand on her bag when she heard him muttering. Oliver began speaking in his sleep, his brow furrowed in confusion and fear. Moving closer, Felicity tried to hear what he was saying. 

“No, please.” He said, breaking her heart with he tone he was using. She had only heard him use that voice when his mother had passed away. “Stop. Please. I’ll do anything. Anything.” She didn’t notice the tears in her eyes until she felt them falling on her lap. 

It wasn’t fair. All Oliver had ever done was try and protect the city. He poured his heart, soul, and body into it and all it ever gave him back were scars and nightmares. The man was tortured enough; he had lived through enough pain to last several people’s lifetimes. All she wanted to do was to hold him close, to place his head on her chest and whisper comforting words into his ear, willing away any more nightmares that might threaten to overwhelm him. Felicity knew that their date hadn’t gone so well and that he was distancing himself from her to protect her, but she couldn’t help but love him. Her love for him was alive, and it burned through her sometimes like fire does to dry branches. No matter her attempts to sever it, to spare herself pain, Felicity knew that she will always love Oliver Queen. 

He continued muttering, now with tears streaming down his face and his hands over his shut eyes. “I can’t. I can’t anymore. It’s too much.” Felicity moved forward instinctively at his broken voice. “Take me. Kill me instead, please, I’ll do anything...” Not entirely sure it was a good idea, she placed a single hand over Oliver’s heart, thinking that her comforting touch, the drugs, and his vast injuries would quell any of the survival instincts Diggle had warned her about.

She was wrong.

One minute Felicity was placing a comforting hand on his chest and the next she had been flipped over and was now on the concrete floor with Oliver’s hand on her throat and his weight on her. The look in his eyes terrified her; the murderous gleam was something she had never seen in him before. Felicity had not known Oliver very well when he first got back from the island, but she could see clearly now how much those years had affected him, burned away his humanity until he was nothing more than an assassin. It was scary to see him like this.

She tried to speak, but felt his grip tighten around her throat. His blue eyes continued to glare at her like she was just another person he would add to the hundreds that he had killed. As her vision began to darken, Felicity managed to squeak out a single strangled word.  
“Oliver.” her voice was small and weak, but somehow it seemed to have reached his ears because a flicker passed over his gaze and she felt his hand loosen slightly. 

“Oliver.” She said again, this time stronger. “Oliver, its me. Its Felicity.” Suddenly his eyes snapped into focus and he looked down at the hand that was still firmly around her throat.

With a noise that sounded like a mix between a strangled sob and gasp, Oliver leaped back and remove his hand from her. Felicity gasped and breathed in heavily, rubbing the spot where she had been grabbed. Immediately Oliver was at her side. 

“I’m so, so sorry Felicity.” He said, looking furious with himself and immensely guilty. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Felicity waved him away, not wanting him to blame himself.

“Oliver, I’m fine.” She said sincerely, looking worriedly at him. “You didn't hurt me, see?” She lifted her chin to show him her neck; not a single mark. Oliver looked unconvinced, looking like he wanted to kick himself.

“I’m really sorry.” he said again, but Felicity cut him off before he could say anything else.

“I know, and its okay Oliver.” She said, placing a hand on his forearm and watching how he ducked his head to keep her from seeing how guilty he still felt. She plucked up the courage and lifted his chin with her hand, once again ignoring the way her soul seemed to sing at the contact. “Really. I’m okay.” She half-whispered, looking deeply into his blue eyes to make sure he accepted it. 

He finally nodded slowly and she sat down on the bed next to him. “You know, you can tell me if you want.” Felicity said hesitantly, not wanting to scare him off. “About your nightmares. I’m always here for you, Oliver.” The look he gave her nearly broke her heart.

Oliver looked like he had just relived every horrible thing that had happened to him all over again. “It wasn’t anything definite.” He said finally, looking at the floor. “Just a formless threat that seemed to go after everyone and everything I ever loved or cared about. My sister. John. You.” The last word seemed to catch in his throat and Felicity wrapped her arm around his in an effort to bring him some peace. “All of you were screaming to be saved,” he went on. “But I couldn't do anything. I just sat there trapped while he tortured and murdered each of you over and over and over again, laughing as he did it.” She had to blink away a few tears as she pressed her lips to his shoulder, not caring how it seemed at that moment. He needed her.

“Its okay, Oliver.” She soothed quietly and placed her small hands around his one large callused hand. “We’re here. We’re all safe. Because of you.” His head jerked her direction when she said that so she continued. “You’ve saved us countless times. Without you, I don’t even want to think about where I would be. Or John. Or Thea. You have done so much for this city. Don’t let your fears and nightmares take that away from you.” She added quietly against his shoulder. “You’re our hero.” The look he gave her was filled with awe and silent gratitude, which made her all the more sad. He still didn't think enough of himself to be seen as a hero in his own eyes.

Over the course of the next hour, she had somehow managed to accidentally fall asleep next to him in the bed, her hand causally splayed out on his chest and her head tucked beneath his chin as he drifted peacefully into a sleep without any nightmares. Tomorrow she would wake up and be blushing furiously with embarrassment, but for right now the two of them were each other’s comforts, their anchors amidst the raging tides of the world.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Nearly a year later, Felicity studied Oliver with a small smile on her face as he laid snoring peacefully in their bed. Had someone told her a year ago that in almost twelve months Oliver Queen would have joined the League of Assassins, killed Ra’s al Ghul, quit his vigilante life, and moved into a house with her in Coast City, she would have laughed in their face. Now, she was counting her lucky stars and places a slow kiss to his cheek, grateful to be the one person he felt so comfortable around. 

The nightmares still came every so often, but when they did Felicity would hold him tight and would whisper loving things into his ear, rocking him and weeping with him until the nightmare passed. 

When Laurel and Thea came later that day during dessert to try and bring Oliver back to Starling City, a part of Felicity wanted to tell them no. He had been through enough and he had given enough to that city. But as she looked into his eyes, she knew that he would always do whatever it took to protect the ones he cared about. And this time, he would not have to bear the burden alone; she would be right beside him and would help him carry the weight when it was too much.

They would face these new challenges together, as a team and as so much more. She was his light, and he was her rock. Together, they could do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> I re-watched the scene in the pilot where Moira tried to wake Oliver and he subconsciously flipped her over and put his hand to her throat for reference. I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort fics, so I hope I got this one right! Just FYI, the ending is set during the beginning of 4x01 in case anyone didn't know! :D


End file.
